Feb-BROO-arry.
23 February 2020 • chats, February
February
is a weird time. It’s weird even to say – I pronounce it
‘Feb-BROO-arry’, is that wrong? I know a lot of people who say
‘Feb-YOU-arry’. Anyone else find this ridiculously hard? Or
are you 100% confident in your pronunciation of this funny little
month’s name, and am I the
only one who’s stupidly struggling?
Photos by the lovely Hattie Darling; she’s currently working on an ongoing
project taking photos of women with buzz cuts, called ‘Buzzed’!
So,
here’s what’s been happening in February.
I’ve
started yet another weird yearly challenge thingy (y’know, like the
silly coffee measurements thing? Yeah. Btw I'm up to 85 this year so far), and it involves making
Spotify playlists for each month of 2020. They’ll just be full of
any and all songs/albums I hear and like, over the 29-31 days of each
month. I’m hoping that looking back on them and re-listening at the
end of the year will give me exactly the right kind of feeling(s) I
had, when I was living in those days and weeks and months. Music is
so powerful. I have genuine flashbacks, warm fuzzies and sometimes
straight-up triggers when I listen to certain songs or artists; ‘So
Close’ by Jon McLaughlin will always make me dissolve into tears,
‘Lovely Day’ fills me with bliss and refreshment, ‘Little Bitty
Pretty One’ has me dancing on any and all coffee tables, waving my
arms in the air… and ‘Survivor’ by Destiny’s Child will
probably always make me act out an entire Zumba routine I learned
when I was 18 and actually made time for exercise classes. I often
feel like I need to mix up my music taste; for too long I’ve
listened to almost exclusively pretty men with guitars and sooo many
feelings, and of course a select few sassy queens who light a fire in
my tummy. I want some in
betweens, and being able to stream music has given me the opportunity
to discover them. Well, I mean, paying for it each month spurs me to
find new things because I’ve gotta make it worth the £4.99 (god
bless you, student discount).
So
far, from my playlists, I can gather: January was moody, chilled, and
not very sassy, while February so far is both subtle and vibrant.
Goodness me, how wanky do I sound? Time to put my ironic monocle and decorative bunches of sage away…
What
else is happening? Well, another one of my ‘main couples’
has split up, and this has caused me to question everything
and doubt the fragile, fickle hearts of hetero men now more than ever
before (and that’s saying something). That said, I am also
filled with empathy and the most immense admiration for
my closest queens who are powering through all the
nonsense, recognising that it’s not their fault, and staying true
to themselves.
I tweeted about my loss of faith in love and romance, etc. and asked folks to come forward with their best love stories to make me believe again. And gang, you delivered. WOW.
I tweeted about my loss of faith in love and romance, etc. and asked folks to come forward with their best love stories to make me believe again. And gang, you delivered. WOW.
Weirdly I
am finding that in recent months, approximately half my friends
are having their hearts broken… and then the rest are having babies
suddenly. It’s two extremes, really. Best of luck to both of
them.
It
was Hands’s birthday earlier this month, too. He casually
mentioned recently that I’ve actually known him for 3 years of his
life; when we met he was 27, shortly after our first date he turned
28, and now he’s 29. But then, he’s only known me at 25 and
26. Strange, eh?
I
like being with someone slightly older. For a long time some years
ago, I seemed to only ever find myself with younger people. Maybe
that was just where my mind was at the time, and what it felt it
needed, but it never ended well and now I feel like I’m in a much
better head space.
Hands’s
birthday was a stressful thing for me. He’d foolishly told me he
wasn’t big into his birthday, and hadn’t done much to celebrate
it in recent years. Now, you readers must know that I LOVE birthdays.
I think I even love friends’ more than mine, actually. And as a
Leo, that’s quite a bold claim.
Well,
the grand surprise adventure plan I’d made for us weeks before had
fallen apart just two days before THE day, and I ended up half
re-formulating, and half winging it. It worked out well – there was
a cinema trip to see Bad Boys 3, a cute late lunch at an old school
Italian place, and even an
unplanned visit to a cat cafe thrown in – but all the worrying gave
me a sizeable ulcer on my bottom lip (actually it started as a
hormonal zit that gave me a fat lip, which I then bit so much it tore
and formed an ulcer somewhere within the mashed up flesh, mmm) and I
stumbled into bed with him that night saying ‘that was fun,
but never again’. (He then told me not to expect the same level of effort for my birthday. Cheers, babe. Love you.)
Now
for a horrible yet hot topic that’s really got to me, this month… Caroline
Flack’s death was awful. The fact that she felt she had to take
her own life is devastating. But what I’ve found just as bad, is
the aftermath in the media. I’ve seen newspapers backtrack
frantically when celebs they hounded and dragged before have passed
away. The classic example would be Jade Goody, who the Daily Mail
called ‘Britain’s brightest star’ after she cancer took her
from the world (I legit remember reading those words in a headline,
on the shelf at my local Tesco Express), but before her diagnosis
went public they were repeatedly slagging her off for her ‘bad’
mothering, TV appearances and choices in romantic partners, for
months. Now apparently some major press sources are
deleting/archiving posts on their websites from just a few weeks ago,
in which they trolled Caroline for her recent assault charges, and
back even further, to when she dated Prince Harry and
they loudly deemed her ‘unworthy’. These kinds of
attacks in the tabloids, on TV, and of course on social media
platforms, have had a hand in quite a few celebrity deaths, now. We
can’t ignore the bad influence our national press is having on our
mental health (and our relationships with our bodies, but that’s a
whole other rant y’all) any more. After umm’ing and ahh’ing
about it for a while, and being scared of backlash, I finally tweeted
my little piece; I’m truly horrified that the people who help
create these publications, whether that’s writing the odd nasty
column, running meetings about what new gossip they
can fabricate, or taking
photos of famous folks unawares (often in their swimwear, ripe for
the red rings of shame), are still going into work every day
with all the awful things that are happening, and
the people who are hurting and even dying, because of them.
There.
That’s it. I’m done.
I’ve
been living alone for almost two months, now. And I’m finding that in my
new place, I always have something to do. Laundry,
washing up, plant care, fridge and cupboard
replenishment… things I haven’t had to think about since I
was at uni, and even then, I was living with friends so we’d help
each other out or just pop to the shops together (well, we
did in the beginning of
our tenancy, anyway). It’s not just the doing, either. It’s
the expenses. I
have always been thrifty, I think, and since this move I have been
trying to budget; I’ve made a spreadsheet, saved up my old jars
for refilling stations, and got into the habit of dropping the odd
bit of change into a jar next to my laundry basket… but it’s
still hard.
I'm also finding more things are getting to me these days, on a deeper level. I'm told that's because I'm alone, and can't get away from my thoughts as easily; I don't have other people around to bounce off and share things with.
I'm also finding more things are getting to me these days, on a deeper level. I'm told that's because I'm alone, and can't get away from my thoughts as easily; I don't have other people around to bounce off and share things with.
Why
am I talking so openly about my money stresses and minor personal
crises, you may ask? I don’t really know. I think this is me going
back to my old days of blogging; being completely honest,
‘writing out’ my feelings, and not
really thinking about who could be reading. I like not seeing who
reads each post, or who specifically lands on the blog every day.
It’s better to see it just in numbers and bar charts in the ‘behind
the scenes’ area of Blogger. I feel like it protects me, and makes it easier for me to continue sharing on here.
What I've Watched: sass, nerds and the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.
10 February 2020 • Aladdin, Booksmart, GLOW, Netflix, TV, what I watched
Couple
of facts: it’s been a while since I posted about what I’ve been watching… and I’ve watched a lot of stuff recently. Ooofftt. This
may take a few goes. Bear with, etc.
'Aladdin'
…I
don’t have to really summarise the plot of one of Disney’s most
popular films, now, do I? Good.
Yep,
I did it. I saw a live action remake of a Disney classic. Not just
that, one of my favourite Disney classics. No, I’m not a huge
Disney fan, but I know what I like – and I LOVE Aladdin. So
obviously I went in with walls up, and expectations low.
It
turned out to be pretty good. Will Smith was NOT Robin
Williams, he was his own genie, his own character. That was my
biggest anxiety about the film. That, and Jasmine’s sass. Well, she
was plenty sassy, but I wasn’t keen on the lengths Disney went to
basically shoving it in our face that this Jasmine
was an independent woman who longs to be truly empowered and
literally given the keys to the kingdom. The new song they gave her?
Really OTT.
My
rating: I miss Robin Williams more than ever.
‘A
threadbare magic-carpet ride to nowhere special, with Will Smith as
a blue genie.’ – The
New York Times.
'Booksmart'
The
hype is real. Olivia Wilde's first go at directing was a triumph;
the two lead gals rocked it, Phoebe’s Lisa
Kudrow’s character was adorable, the actual plot and message of the
whole thing was excellent, and each character was hilarious in their
own way. My favourite was Gigi, the stoner princess who may have also
been a genuine genius. Also I am such a Lizzo lover,
hearing ‘Boys’ play
over a party scene was very exciting for me.
My
rating: stupidly (and cleverly) funny.
How
long have I had Netflix? A good few years. How long have people been
telling me to watch 'GLOW'? A good few years. How long have I been
staring at it in my List, and wondering when would be a good time to
start it? pfffttt.
Honestly,
I'm quite mad at myself for waiting so long. It's quite brilliant.
All kinds of women - 'serious' actor types, wrestling fans, proud
sluts... wolf indentifiers... this show's got 'em all. They all have
their own stories, developments, quirks and complications to muddle
through. My favourite? It's a tie between Sheila and Carmen.
Okay fine, with a little Rhonda thrown in too, because I am half
British after all. I also weirdly became affectionate towards
pain-in-the-a** Ruth by the end. And I loved Debbie's arc, but then
she also irked me a bit throughout. I also have a weird crush on Sam,
but then, don't we all...?
'GLOW
Season 4: Netflix Renewed for Final Season & What To Expect’,
What’s On Netflix.
Anyway,
moving swiftly on. I well and truly noshed down on 'GLOW' for a
couple of weeks, and was soon at the end of series 3 in a tearful
daze, screeching at the screen because I hadn't done my research and
known when exactly I would be 100% caught up...!? Arghh. Bring on
series 4.
3 series, 10 episodes which vary in length but are generally 30-40 mins.
My rating: gorgeous ladies indeed, beautiful and hilarious stories too.
3 series, 10 episodes which vary in length but are generally 30-40 mins.
My rating: gorgeous ladies indeed, beautiful and hilarious stories too.
So, that's what I've been watching lately. More to come soon. Are you liking these posts? Wanna gimme some feedback? Goodness me, I love feedback. I thirst for it. Tweet me or comment with anything you got.
Dear Evan Hansen; a review.
6 February 2020 • Dear Evan Hansen, gracie gets dramatic, Seatplan, theatre, theatre review
*
I was given tickets to this show in exchange for a review; that in no way
affects my opinion that this show was utterly brilliant and
devastating and magical. Read on for more gushing. *
Last
night (Wednesday 5th
of
February) I was lucky enough to get a pair of tickets to see a show
I’d only heard truly great things about, and had actually
had on my radar for a while – ‘Dear
Evan Hansen’.
Here’s
some background for you…
Transferring
to the West End following a hugely successful US premiere (and
Tony wins), including a sold-out national tour, the heartfelt story
follows teenager Evan Hansen as he tries to cope with a lie that
spirals out of control.
What
does it feel like to not fit in? Evan Hansen has spent his whole life
feeling invisible; coming from a broken home with only a few friends,
he wishes for a completely different life. When a letter he
wrote that was never meant to be seen is found, a dangerous lie
rapidly spirals out of control. Soon, Evan it getting everything
he has ever dreamed of. But at what cost?
The
book of ‘Dear
Evan Hansen’ is by
Steven evenson, music and lyrics by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul –
who created the scores for the incredibly successful ‘La
La Land’ and
‘The
Greatest Showman’.
With a soundtrack that is already beloved by fans across the world,
the production features emotional songs including “Waving Through a
Window”, “Requiem” and “You Will Be Found”.
Michael
Greif (‘Rent’,
‘Next to Normal’, ‘If/Then’) directs
the musical, which also features choreography by Danny
Mefford, orchestrations by Alex Lacamoire, set design by David
Korins, costume design by Emily Rebholz, lighting design by Japhy
Weideman and sound design by Nevin Steinberg.
The
casting of this production was pretty much perfect. And, I mean, Sam
Tutty. Can we just talk about this miraculous human? Okay. He was
utterly adorable and completely believable in his awkward and
pained portrayal of Evan. His erratic way of speaking and the
uncomfortable way he would carry himself throughout was
heartbreaking and hilarious, all at once; his interactions
with the other cast members were all wonderful. My theatre
date (a big Evan Hansen fan) also noted
how he’d mirror some of Connor Murphy’s (Doug
Colling’s) movements when
they had scenes together that happened in his own mind. Little
touches like that can be huge in the overall impressions of
the production, and it’s no surprise that Sam is getting only
the best reviews for his West End debut (!!).
My
date for the evening; the lovely Stevie.
Generally,
the acting and direction was all superb, and almost every song made
me want to gasp; they were all so full of heart and many of them were
unlike anything I'd heard before in how they changed tone and pace so
quickly. There were moments in the show when I genuinely felt a sharp
pain in my chest and my tummy ached. I didn't cry at any point
(although I did tear up at the very end; more on that to come) but I
think that's because my mind was so focused on the story, and I was
feeling so much in my body, y'know?
Okay.
Let’s get into the set – high concept to say the
least; all digital displays, sliding platforms and hectic holograms,
oh my. Throughout the production, the characters were surrounded by
flickering images, projections and… a lot of darkness. And I think
it was that intense darkness that (spoiler alert) made it so
impactful when the set suddenly became bright and clear towards the
end. When all the social media screens finally gave way to pure blue
light, and hopeful sprigs that would someday become tall trees…
that was so powerful. I also really felt the madness when the
Facebook posts went viral, and strangers’ voices filled the space
saying things like ‘I needed to see this today’, ‘if you watch
one video today, make it this’ and ‘share to save a life’ (I’m
paraphrasing, obvs). That whole part of the show told us so much
about the age and culture we live in, and how crowded our brains get
with all this digital content. It’s really quite scary, when you
think about it. At least, that’s what this social
media addict drew from
it…
A
poignant moment for me was when the cast all gathered together at the
end to bow; it’s always a part of the show I look forward to
because you’re given a glimpse of the people behind the characters,
and for just a minute, you get to see how proud they are of what
they’ve made together. This curtain call was especially
magical to see, because the characters had all been through so much,
and I felt they were so ‘together’ as they greeted the standing
ovation (which was similar to Come From Away in how bloody FAST it
happened!). Sam Tutty (Evan) also made me smile when he
stuck his tongue out (in an exhausted-but-elated kind of way) as we
applauded him.
Also,
I have just found out that last night was the debut of the new Heidi
Hansen (Evan’s mum), Hannah Lindsey. I did wonder if she was a
cover perhaps, because Tutty gave her a separate clap after he
bowed, and slung a proud arm around her as they strolled offstage
together – but no, it was her first time! Hannah, you
were breathtaking. Honestly. Your scenes hit me hardest, I think.
Thank you so much to Seatplan for the tickets to this brilliant production. Readers, if you want to see this show, it's booking until May this year and I really, really advise that you get on it ASAP. And when you've seen it, let's discuss it at length because I have so many feelings...!
The Importance of Public Libraries*.
• contributor
*
This
post was written by a contributor *
There
are many important institutions in today’s society;
hospitals and other healthcare practices, plus court
houses and town halls. Where would we be
without those!? Those
two industries typically get plenty of shout-outs and
praise, but there’s another social institution that
arguably does just as much for the
community: libraries! While
they can be viewed, primarily, as a place where you can borrow books,
they can provide so much more. I bet you our
society would be much poorer
without these integral buildings that help to promote engagement,
both with oneself and with other people.
Libraries
provide public spaces where friends can gather in a welcoming and
warm environment. They can also foster connections between
strangers that obviously could not happen if they were both
sitting at home. One of the other ways that libraries help society
is the way they can empower individuals –
we can
get health guidance, conduct research, and find essential tools
that help us to
improve our careers or pursue higher
education.
The
good news is that libraries are valued
by most societies – in America, more people
visited public
libraries than they did cinemas in the past year, and
of course a huge percentage of the UK population
are loyal to their locals, too.
To
learn more about libraries and the integral role they play in
society, take a look at the infographic from the University of
Southern California below.
Infographic Design By University of Southern California
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